Fear of emotional and financial hardship is keeping many people trapped in an unhappy marriage according to a recent survey. The research, which questioned 2000 married individuals, confirmed that one fifth feel ‘trapped’ in an unhappy marriage due to their concern about their financial health if they were to leave, thus would only divorce if there could be a guarantee of financial security. The study also revealed that one quarter of married people are no longer in love with their spouse, a staggering 15% wished they had married somebody else, and 30% have considered having a period of separation or ending their marriage entirely.
Husbands and wives differed with their reasons for avoiding divorce or discussions about divorce. The survey showed that the top ten reasons for avoidance were as follows;
1. Not sure I have the courage
2. I might regret it
3. I’m hoping things will improve
4. It would have too big an impact on the family/ need to stay together for the kids
5. I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself financially
6. I wouldn’t want to leave my home or have to sell the family house
7. I’m too old to walk away now
8. I would feel guilty leaving them
9. I’m scared to be on my own
10. I’m worried about being lonely
The anxiety caused by the idea of facing financial hardship is something most people in this economy can relate to. It can be consuming. The emotional impact of divorce and facing that a marriage has effectively broken down is difficult enough without the added distress of dividing assets and dealing with your finances alone.
The view that divorce should always be the last resort is supported by the family lawyers here at Farleys. However, it is clear that for some it is, sadly, the best option where a marriage cannot continue. Children are very receptive to their parent’s happiness and studies reveal that, despite the inevitable difficulties, children of divorce are often happier if the experience has left their parents happier than if the parents had just remained in a miserable marriage. Separation and divorce will be emotionally draining for all concerned but in the long run can be a positive step.
If you wish to investigate the options to you when it comes to divorce or separation, Farleys offer a ‘case management meeting’ with one of our family solicitors. Chargeable at a fixed fee, the hour long meeting will be with one of our team of experienced solicitors who will provide advice for your specific concerns and needs. Any advice provided will be tailored to you and confirmed in writing.
The concept of the case management meeting is to provide you with clarity as to what can be expected from the divorce proceedings and to explain the options available. You may choose to act on the advice given to you or you may not. That will be entirely a matter for you. In the event you decide to take further action, we can assist you with that; providing more detailed advice and, where necessary, legal representation.
For more information about case management meetings or for any other family law matter, please get in touch with one of our experienced divorce solicitors.
By Barry Bunyan, Family Lawyer in Blackburn